Into the Void
by CloudSpires1295
Summary: Sisfic coda to 5x22 "Swan Song". Everything's all said and done. Sam's jumped into the Cage, Cas has gone back to Heaven, Bobby's returned to Singer Salvage, but where does that leave Shay and Dean? Rated M for swearing and description of a mortal wound. Part of the Shay 'verse.


**It's a tad bit short, but this is the sisfic coda to "** _ **Swan Song**_ **" that I've been working on for the past week or so. Enjoy the read.**

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Shay hopped over Bobby's body, feet slipping and sliding over what was left of Cas, and rushed over to where Lucifer had Dean pinned to the impala's bonnet, laying into his face with his fists. Her heart tore in two at the faint, weakening sound of Dean's reassurances to Sam that he was there and he wasn't leaving him. Ignoring the sense of self-preservation, she dove at the Devil, wrapping both arms around his and pulling back with all her might, trying to stop him mid-punch.

"You just don't learn, do you?" Sam's voice was colder than ice, and Shay felt her stomach drop with fear as the Devil shook her off and spun to face her, wrapping a huge hand around her throat.

The huntress wheezed in his hold, squirming to get even a bit of air into her desperate lungs as Lucifer lifted her up off of her feet… so high off the ground she could see Dean's bloodied face and horrified green eyes staring at her over Sam's shoulder. She looked back down at her baby brother's face, twisted into a cruel, callous smirk that was so unlike him, she nearly lost her resolve. Nonetheless, she placed a gentle hand on his cheek and smiled tenderly.

"We're… right here… Sammy," Shay cooed, huffing with the effort, "we're… we're n-not… leaving you, baby boy." Her thumb stroked against his prominent cheek bone, "we lo-ove y-you and f-forgive you, Sammy. It's okay… it's all gonna be okay."

" _Shay?_ "

That voice. That soft, heartbroken voice… that was her Sammy Long Legs. The huntress smiled a little wider, "whatever happens, it's okay, baby boy, I forgive you." Agonized hazel eyes stared up at her, slowly shifting back to anger and hatred as Lucifer began to push back to the forefront.

Shay looked back at Dean, who was trying to get off of Baby's hood, terrified eyes on her. Her name slipped from his lips and his head shook in denial as she mouthed her love for him over Lucifer's quivering shoulder. Her gaze slipped back down to Sam's face, just as the archangel slipped back into full-control.

"Nice try," Lucifer sneered, "but no cigar." His free hand slammed into her abdomen and Shay screamed in agony as his hand slipped through her body as easily as though the archangel were simply trying on a set of gloves.

" _SHAY!_ " Hearing Dean scream for her cut far deeper, hurt far more than the hand inside her gut ever would.

Shailene gagged on globs of her own blood as she struggled to breathe, each weak gasp for air igniting flames in her grievously wounded abdominal cavity. Lucifer's smirk deepened as he slowly retracted his hand and left her to hang in his hold, leaving a gaping, ugly red wound just below the curve of her breasts.

Shay's fading gaze landed on his right hand, coated thickly with blood and bits of her own rib bones and shredded organs. She looked at Dean, who was frozen, staring in shock. _Heh_ , she thought weakly, _I guess he never thought… Sam would let him kill me…_ She looked back at the cool hazel eyes of Lucifer, knowing her baby brother was locked away in there somewhere, watching and screaming for her.

"I-it's… it's o-okay, baby boy," she managed to rasp as her hand slipped off of his cheek, "I p-promise." The pain was already dulling as she spoke, and her sight was greying out at the edges. Everything was fading out into meaningless blurs… and she was so _tired_. The fight to keep her eyes open was a losing one and she could already feel them sliding closed against her will, leaving her to drift in the dark.

Lucifer staggered a bit and closed his eyes, growling as his vessel shook with Sam's valiant efforts to get take back control. With a disgusted snarl, he threw Shay's dying body to the ground and turned back to Dean, exerting a bit more Grace to shove Sam back into his corner.

"Now," the Morningstar brought his bloodied right hand up to eye-level and admired the rich coating of fresh blood, "where were we?"

*S*S*S*S*S*

Shay gasped harshly as her eyes snapped open to stare up at a cloudless blue sky. She only had a moment to take in the view before her memories came crashing back into her mind. She slapped a hand against her abdomen and found her shirt torn and her skin coated with half-dried tacky blood, but the wound that caused it was completely gone.

"Shay?" Dean dropped to his knees next to her, relief clear in his face, "Thank fuck, you're okay." He grabbed her up and hugged her tightly, pressing rough but affectionate kisses against the side of her head. Shay squirmed a little but allowed the treatment, taking the moment to get her bearings.

"Sam?" she asked quietly, "Sammy, is he…?" Dean's arms tightened infinitesimally around her as he tensed up at her question. There was a small sniff from him, and he nodded once, "he… yeah, he made the jump… took Michael and Adam down with 'im, too."

"Oh," Shay's insides squirmed uncomfortably at the mention of their younger half-brother, "I…" she never really did get a chance to warm up to the kid, between the ghoul impersonating him and the brief time they were holding him and Dean hostage so neither of them could say yes to Michael… fucking Michael… Regardless, a little part of her felt guilty that he'd been dragged into this mess to begin with.

"I guess it's… for the best," she mumbled, "if Michael was still…" Shay closed her eyes against the wave of sorrow and heartache bursting forth in her chest. Her Sammy… She dropped her face against Dean's shoulder and wept fitfully, clutching at him desperately.

*D*D*D*D*D*

"You know I can't come with you to Lisa's, right?" The younger Winchester twin asked tonelessly, playing with a loose string at the hem of her grey flannel button-down.

Dean glanced over at Shay, shocked, "w-what d'you mean? Where the hell else—"

"One of us is enough for her to handle," Shay explained softly, "and she actually knows and likes you, she's barely spent five minutes with me."

"So you're taking off? After Sam just… you're just gonna _leave_?"

"It wouldn't be the first time," she replied bitterly, "I need some time to move past this and I'd do better at it on my own."

"Oh _please_ ," Dean snorted, just as bitter, "this sounds like some sorry excuse for you to go off on your own so you can do somethin' I really don't want you to do."

"You _can't_ tell me you feel any better, De," Shay muttered, "I just… _God_ ," she blinked back tears, "I feel so fucking _empty_." Her heart was torn apart and seething with infection in her chest, sending poison and agony coursing through her veins, "I don't know if I can handle this."

"Just… just stay with me," Dean reached out and grasped her hand, pulling her across the bench seat to curl against him, "I don't know if I can handle it either, we'll just… we'll figure it out together."

"What about Lisa?"

"We'll figure it out when we get to Indiana. Just," the elder Winchester pressed a soft kiss against the side of his sister's head, his actions desperate, "just don't skip out on me this time, kay?"

"Okay." Shay tucked herself a little more comfortably against Dean's side, finding comfort in his mutual pain and grief. Maybe, together, they'd be able to weather this loss without succumbing. Even if they did manage, the Sammy-shaped hole in their beings would _never_ be filled.

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 ***sniffs sadly* I honestly hate how emotional the season 5 finale always gets me. Like, it never fails no matter how many times I've seen it, I still cry a little. I'm probably gonna tack on a second chapter about their year out of the Life between s5 and s6, but it's done for right now. Dean might've been a little OOC, and I'm sorry about that if he was. Hope you enjoyed the read!**

 **P.S. If any of you guys have a preference for AO3 over FF, because I prefer AO3 and I just want to cover possible bases, I always cross-post each of my SPN works there after I put them up here. My username on AO3 is the exact same as the one on here.**

 ***~*** _ **CloudSpires1295**_ ***~***


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